will you meet me down by the riverside before you take your own life?

a dance floor will be waiting for us,
i will spread laughter all over your body,
you can splash water on my skin,
we will smoke cigarettes,
sing our favorite love songs,
and we will dance, dance, dance
like we have been given the gift of a second chance
even if we you do not want to take it.

if the sun’s bold light body appears,
if the night ends and you happen to go with it
i will kiss your face and say “I love you!”
then spend the whole day meditating as softly as I can
envisioning you in the holiest angel hands.

i hope you know when you are gone;
i am going to cry tears into every spider web,
scream my fears at every narrow head,
stand still in the light of death
and whisper "you are beautiful!"

this might be too much to ask
but before you go will you do me a favor,
will you please make it clear to me
how much you love me,
lately I too have been feeling
like an old broken hollywood grandfather clock,
i can not stand that degrading feeling
especially when i know somewhere inside we are so alive together,
caring about each other like warm rain pouring on a forest fire.

do not think twice.
i do not blame you,
i have not changed much
since my teenage suicide pact with lust.
you can blame me though if you need to
i will still let you come to me in dreams,
we will be friends again,
it will be like you never killed yourself
and i never wanted you to myself.


when you are gone i promise you wherever you are
if you keep your eyes open
i will keep my heart on fire
and you can marvel at it from the otherside,
you can feel the joy of true love,
the peace the people on earth
could not give you enough of.

and if you are ever ready to come back to earth,
let me know through the wind’s midnight whisper
and you can come back as my daughter,
i will fill your world with knowledge
and love of your beauty
from the first day you are born.

if you decide to take your life,
i promise you will always be
in my heart and on my mind.

i love you so much.
i always have
and i always will,
no matter the space
you are trying to fill.

i honor you forever.

Justin Blackburn
poem from "You Are Not A Normal Human Being"
available at
http://www.lulu.com/us/en/shop/virgogray-press/you-are-not-a-normal-human-being/paperback/product-20340796.html